Care Package Ideas for Surrogates and Egg Donors

During a recent egg donation cycle, my lovely friend and recipient gave me an enormous box labelled ‘Sarah’s Donor Cycle Care Package.’ Thinking it was probably a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine, I was blown away to discover that they’d filled the box with a wrapped gift for every day of the cycle.

If you are new to surrogacy, you can read about how to find a surrogate, or how to become a surrogate yourself. You can also download the free Surrogacy Handbook which explains the processes and options.

Intended parents often want to know how they can support their surrogate and her family, and a care package, at any time or at milestones, can be a lovely way to show appreciation. Below are some ideas, including the gifts I received in my care package and as a surrogate.

You might consider speaking to her partner or friends, or doing some discrete investigative work to find out what she likes and where her interests lie. There’s nothing like receiving a gift that someone has put a lot of thought into, knowing they’ve made the effort to get it right. And you don’t need to spend a lot of money to make her feel appreciated – if it’s heartfelt, it will be heartfully received.

  1. Chocolate and sweet treats – do some digging and find out what her favourite sweet treat is! Someone once gave me a box of dark orange chocolate…which was lovely, but not my favourite (hint: it’s Ferraro Rocher or Turkish Delight. Or Rocky Road. Or fudge).
  2. Alcohol – often welcome, but again you need to find out what she likes first! For a pregnant surrogate, you might buy her alcohol towards the end of the pregnancy. For me, it’s pink gin or Baileys, or wine.
  3. Heat Bag. My recipient gave me a Wili Heat Bag and Eye Mask which are both lovely and great quality.
  4. Handcreams and body lotions – nice indulgent personal care items can make someone feel appreciated.
  5. Massage vouchers, a spa voucher, pedicure or manicure (or all of them!). Totally indulgent and means she has to schedule some down time in order to use the voucher.
  6. A dinner voucher and an offer of babysitting – it doesn’t have to be fancy, and in fact it could just be an Uber Eats voucher or something from the local take-away.
  7. Books – if you’re not sure what she likes, ask her partner, check her book shelf, or just buy her a voucher. I’m enjoying a lot of books on Audible at the moment, so if she’s a busy person or in bed feeling sick and sore, an audio book is a welcome treat.
  8. Movie vouchers and another offer of babysitting!
  9. Taking her out for lunch.
  10. Herbal teas – I end my day with chamomile tea, so I was pretty chuffed to receive a whole box of T2 Chamomile tea bags. My surrogacy intended parents went to the trouble of finding T2 Remedy Ready, to help with the nausea and insomnia of pregnancy.
  11. Pyjamas – get the size right! Pyjamas are such a lovely, caring gift and lets her know that you want her to be comfortable.
  12. Depending on her interests, things like pot plants or vouchers for the nursery, or tickets to a show or an art exhibition can be nice and personal, and show that you’ve take an interest in where her interests lie.

But enough ideas from me – what does your donor or surrogate like? The main point of this post is for you to consider what she would like, so the job for you is to get to know her better and think deeply about all the amazing ways you can show her that she’s loved and appreciated and that you’ve taken the time to be there for her.

Make sure to read all about the many ways to support your surrogate and her family. You might also like to think about doing the Love Languages together, to find out how each of you expresses and receives love.

Finally, make sure to find out all the ways you have a positive surrogacy journey!

Sarah has published a book, More Than Just a Baby: A Guide to Surrogacy for Intended Parents and Surrogates, the only guide to surrogacy in Australia.

You can find more information in the free Surrogacy Handbook, reading articles in the Blog, by listening to more episodes of the Podcast. You can also book in for a consult with me below.

Hi! I’m Sarah Jefford (she/her). I’m a family creation lawyer, practising in surrogacy and donor conception arrangements. I’m an IVF mum, an egg donor and a traditional surrogate, and I delivered a baby for two dads in 2018

I advocate for positive, best practice surrogacy arrangements within Australia, and provide support and education to help intended parents make informed decisions when pursuing overseas surrogacy.

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