Kirsty from Queensland.
I am married with four children (all still under 10 years old). At the moment I am enjoying being a stay at home mumma,
I became a surrogate because I grew up seeing my mum’s grief over her choice for family size taken away from her. She always wanted four or more children; but she was very sick (including on life support) with my birth, and also very sick with my younger sister’s birth. She was told no more children or she could die the next time around. She didn’t take that risk and I know at times she was really sad that she had no other options. I always wanted to have a brother or sister for myself, on her behalf, from as young as around 8 or 9 years old. That didn’t eventuate, but my sister and I have given her 8 grandbabies in 8 years! My desire to be a surrogate for someone has always remained. I have been very blessed to have ‘easy’ pregnancies and births and I know if I was in my mum’s position too I would’ve been devastated. I have met so many amazing women who have also had that choice taken away from them. Life isn’t fair; so if I can help just one family in continuing to grow their family, then I will feel like I am not so helpless in this unfair world!
I love being pregnant, and labour is the most empowering thing I have ever experienced – so that helps too!
I haven’t had a surrogacy pregnancy yet – but the best part so far is seeing my husband’s involvement and friendship with intended parents grow along with mine. My children are also as interested in how it works and helping their new friend become a big brother (my intended parents have a 6 year old son). I love that something I am passionate about has now become something my whole family wants to be a part of and see fulfilled.
I would do a second surrogacy journey provided this one went well. I would especially do a sibling journey for my current intended parents, if they wanted to go down that path. Why? Because I am passionate about conception being the start of life; so if my intended parents had embryos remaining then I would certainly be more than happy to give that little life an opportunity to grow. I also have four children. Each one is wanted as much as the first one was. I don’t think intended parents should have to stop at one surrogacy journey because they have a kid at the end of it. Everyone is entitled to decide their family size. Those with a child already included.
My advice to someone wanting to be a surrogate is to take your time getting to know people well in the surrogacy community. Make friends with those who have been through it. Make friends with the people you want to carry for. Make friends for those who are yet to find a surrogate. Make a whole new network of people and understand their stories. Learn why they make decisions what they do. Learn their personality. Facebook makes this easy nowadays, but it also sometimes makes us forget of real life outside of Facebook. Get to know people outside of the front they put on Facebook. You will be forever encouraged by the new people in your life; and hopefully you will that person to them too!
You can find me at my Facebook page A Tummy Mummy Adventure
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If you are a woman considering becoming a surrogate, you can access a free initial legal advice consult – click the link at the bottom of the page.