Kate, Medical Secretary & Receptionist
I live in Victoria and am a single mum to three children now aged 10, 8 and 6.
I was a surrogate and gave birth to Annabelle a year ago in 2018, for her amazing dads, Mike & Glenn.
I became a surrogate because I read a post by another surrogate in an unrelated group on Facebook and I suddenly realised that surrogacy really resonated with me. My family was complete and I was elated that surrogacy would allow me the opportunity to make a family for intended parent/s who otherwise couldn’t, and that my reward was that I could enjoy pregnancy again whilst simultaneously giving this incredible gift to my intended parents!
The best thing about my surrogacy journey was the lifelong friendships my children and I have made with Mike, Glenn & Annabelle. And the incredible unwavering support they gave me during our journey. Plus their trust in me that I knew my body; and their respect for allowing me to voice what was important to me in pregnancy, birth and postpartum and taking it all on board. Our journey would not have been what it was without the open and honest lines of communication we maintained throughout.
The most challenging part of my surrogacy journey was those last few intense moments of birth! I so wanted her to be born after midnight because the following day was meaningful to my intended parents, but at quarter to midnight I knew I didn’t have it in me to hold her off, she was already a week overdue but by then she was ready to greet the world, and she wanted her own day of celebration! There was no holding her back!
The other most challenging part was the waiting between clinic appointments and counselling and jumping through all the hoops surrogacy requires here in Australia, but as drawn out as that process was, every step was in place for valid reasons and it was a good lesson in patience.
I would not be a surrogate again because being a single mum and a surrogate came with its own challenges. My intended parents, family, friends, local community and especially my children absolutely stepped up beyond what I ever could have asked for, and I am not sure it would be fair to ask them to do that again.
My advice for a woman considering becoming a surrogate is to learn all there is to learn, and take your time to absorb it all. Then search the surrogacy community groups on Facebook for answers to your questions, and if they haven’t been asked before, ask the brains trust! Also, talk to past surrogates about their journeys, learn from those before you. And build incredibly strong, honest relationships with your intended parents. And never assume you’re on the same page! Always discuss everything together.
The journey can and will have its’ ups and downs, don’t forget to learn from the downs and embrace the ups!
You can find me in the Australian Surrogacy Community Facebook Group.
You can listen to Kate’s story on Episode 12 of the Podcast.
Photograph credit – the birth photo was taken by Bree Downes, Melbourne Doula and Birth Photographer.
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If you are a woman considering becoming a surrogate, you can access a free initial legal advice consult – click the link at the bottom of the page.