Sharing your story for surrogacy.
If you are new to surrogacy, you can read about how to find a surrogate, or how to become a surrogate yourself. You can also download the free Surrogacy Handbook which explains the processes and options.
Many surrogacy arrangements in Australia are through existing relationships – that is friends and family members. Surrogates might consider being a surrogate for friends or family, but may not know anyone who needed one. Intended parents might share their story of how they came to surrogacy in an email or social-media post to their loved ones and offer to talk to anyone who wants more information.
You might think that there are is no one in your friendship circle or amongst your family members who could, or would, carry a baby for you. It is still important to share your story with your loved ones so that they have the opportunity to support you. Many people believe that surrogacy is illegal in Australia, so by sharing your story you are helping to de-stigmatise surrogacy and donor conception, which is important for other intended parents, surrogate and particularly for children born through these arrangements.
You may never never if someone close to you is willing to be your surrogate unless you share your story. By sharing your story, you will be starting many more conversations. I know of surrogacy arrangements that have started from conversations at the hairdressers, in the workplace, between neighbours and at school pick-up. If you are anxious about what to say, perhaps write a draft first, or think of the main messages you want to convey, and have someone proof-read it. Some ideas for what you can write in your post or message include:
- An update on your family and relationship and what has been happening in your life that has led you to want to grow your family.
- Your reasons for needing some help to do grow our family.
- Why growing your family is so important to you.
- That you have been reading and researching options for surrogacy (and egg donation if necessary)..
- Provide some information about surrogacy in Australia – that it is legal and altruistic and where they can read more about it.
- Share your reasons for telling your story and what you hope to achieve.
- Invite people to ask questions, continue the conversation and thank them for their support.
- You might like to include photos of you in the post or email, including of yourself and perhaps holiday photos or of your pets.
Remember, no one can offer to be your surrogate if you don’t find the courage to share your story. Be vulnerable and brave, and someone might be willing to be vulnerable and brave for you.
Read about how to find a surrogate in Australia, and more importantly how to connect with a surrogate. You can listen to other intended parents on the Podcast, including Rebecca who shared her story and connected with a friend who offered to carry for her.